Punishment 2002
Chicago Croquet Squirearchy of Gentlefolk
March 24, 2002

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SUMMARY OF PUNISHMENT 2002

Five hungry contenders fought for the universal belt in the first match of
the day for Punishment 2002. After the first match Erik "The Hammer" Maldre
walked away with belt leaving Peter "The Punisher" Kreten desperate to
attain it back. "That belt is my life and sweat" the Punisher was heard
wailing... Mike Pudlow won his first Squirearchy game with his doubles
partner, the Punisher... In the first Mini-croquet game ever, the Punisher
won back his beloved Universal Belt... He then added to his trophy case in
the falling snow by acquiring the Bloodmatch belt handing the Mauler his
first ever loss in "double-ball." Has the Mauler fallen from his status in
double-ball king?... The day clearly belonged to the Punisher as he won
three of the four matches, giving him his first tournament win. Pictures of
this event can be viewed at: http://www.spudart.org/chicagocroquet/photos

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DETAILS OF PUNISHMENT 2002

The Punisher united the Bloodmatch and Universal belts in the event named
after him, Punishment.

A historical match that will live for the ages. It started off with, the
owner of the bloodmatch belt, the Matt " the Mauler" Maldre, having
jurisdiction over the type of match. The Mauler was strict upon adhering to
playing a standard croquet game (in the Squirearchy known as "double-ball").
Everyone trembles when the phrase "double-ball" is uttered. The Mauler said,
"I keep to the traditions and history of the game of croquet. However, the
others in our club poop their trousers when faced with such immense history
and tradition. But in all actuality it is perhaps because nobody has ever
defeated me in double-ball in Squirearchy history!" The hammer stubbornly
refused to play "double-ball" that day. However, the Punisher stepped up to
the challenge. What a brave young lad! Surely he feels comfortable at his
home field of Kreten Kourt.

The match was head to head throughout the entire game. When at the third to
last wicket it appeared as though the Mauler had the win in his pocket, but
the Punisher pulled an incredible shot. Not only did he send his ball
through the third to last wicket, his ball traveled over the concrete
section curving perfectly to land on the green for the next wicket... all on
one stroke... unheard of on Kreten Kourt given its dimensions. The Mauler
was pleased to lose his first double-ball match on such an incredible shot.
He was quoted a month afterwards, "I still remember that shot to this day.
Given the historical implications of that shot, I am most certain that it
will live up to be the shot of 2002."

Then it was decided that all six players should play a doubles match. But
who would team up with how? Surely the Mauler and the Hammer cannot be on
the same team for their trecherous power would annihilate the rest. So all
the coloured balls were tossed into a sack. Players drew the balls from the
sack from behind their back to determine partners. The Punisher and Pudlo
won the match for Pudlo first ever victory.

The event of Punishment also beared witness to the first official
Mini-Croquet match where upon a tiny table-top croquet set was laid out onto
a standard backyard field. This was perhaps the very first match were
absolutely no roquets were made. Few attemped and all failed. At first
everyone found the mini-croquet format challenging, but the Punisher and the
Mauler quickly caught on. While the Hammer and Ed were left behind in their
struggling attempts. The Punisher cruised onto the win with the glory of
owning the first ever victory in Mini-Croquet and reattaining the Universal
Belt.

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RESULTS:

Singles
1 Erik "Hammer" Maldre
2 Matt "Mauler" Maldre
3 Peter "Punisher" Kreten
4 Ed
5 Kelly "First Lady" Kreten
6 Pudlow

Doubles
1 Peter "Punisher" Kreten
Pudlow
2 Kelly "First Lady" Kreten
Erik "Hammer" Maldre
3 Matt "Mauler" Maldre
Ed

Singles Mini-Croquet
1 Peter "Punisher" Kreten
2 Matt "Mauler" Maldre
3 Ed
4 Erik "Hammer" Maldre

Bloodmatch
1 Peter "Punisher" Kreten
2 Matt "Mauler" Maldre

Singles
1 Erik "Hammer" Maldre
2 Matt "Mauler" Maldre
3 Ed